


Boyfriends

by ryry_peaches



Series: Carry On Countdown Fills 2019 [2]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:49:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21580849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryry_peaches/pseuds/ryry_peaches
Summary: A role-reversed reimagining of the conversation Baz and Simon had after they kissed in Carry On.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Carry On Countdown Fills 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555318
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2019





	Boyfriends

"What am I supposed to do, Snow? Bring you to lunch? Switch to your football team? I can hardly meet up with Dev and Niall and say 'Hey, remember Simon Snow? We're snogging now.'"

Simon shrugs. "Why not?"

"Well, for starters," Baz says slowly, giving him a heavy side-eye, "I've been telling them for four years that you're a vampire."

Simon wrinkles his nose, furrows his brow, does something scrunchy with his mouth. "But I _am_ a vampire. It's not like you've been wrong…"

"Merlin's sake," Baz says, throwing up his hands. "It's like arguing with a brick wall."

"Because a brick wall also doesn't want to argue with you?" Simon catches Baz's right hand in his own as he drops it. "I just don't see why it has to be an issue. You can tell your friends. I'll tell Penny and Agatha —"

"Merlin and Morgana, Snow, you will not!" Baz tugs his hand away and tucks it between his crossed legs. They're on the floor between their beds, Simon's blanket under them.

"Why not?"

"Bunce will be insufferable, and Wellbelove will probably have palpitations from the needless romantic drama of it all — wait, do _they_ know you're a vampire?"

Simon pulls back, affronted. "Of course! It's not like your friends don't know you're the chosen one!"

Baz rolls his eyes, leans back on his hands. "The whole world of mages knows that I'm the chosen one. I was created to _be_ the chosen one. Were you created to be a vampire, Snow?"

Simon finally frowns — his whole face crumples, actually, and Baz feels guilty for it, but he doesn't apologize. "Obviously not," he says quietly. "No one meant for me to happen."

Okay, _now_ Baz feels guilty enough to apologize. "I didn't mean —" He clears his throat. "I'm sorry."

Simon half-squints at him. "'S'okay. But I can't not tell my friends about us, Baz."

"Us _what,_ Snow? What will you tell them? That we snogged a couple times and then argued about it? Hardly a newsworthy occurrence." He looks Snow up and down, thinks about how he's never spent a night out of their room. "Well, maybe for you," he amends.

"It's more than snogging," Simon argues.

"Is it? What do you think? That we're boyfriends now?" Baz snorts. "Does _the Mage_ know you're gay, Snow?"

"The Mage doesn't care," Simon says, but he doesn't seem sure. "I don't care. It's — _God,"_ he says, making fists. "Don't you ever just do things because you want to, Basil? Don't you ever want to…not keep control?"

Baz's face tightens. "Not an option," he says, lip curling.

 _"Why not?"_ Simon leans forward, getting in Baz's face. "Why can't you just let go an inch?"

"Because I can't, Simon! Because I don't let go. Period. If I do, I might —"

"Go off," Simon cuts him off softly. "You might go off. I thought you had that under control? You haven't had a — an _accident_ since third year."

"Because I work not to," Baz says, and suddenly he looks so young to Simon — he's always secretly thought of Baz as the older one, even though everyone is pretty sure Simon is older than most of his classmates. Baz is the one who has his shit together, who makes top marks and gets on well with grown-ups. The one who appears at important functions, looking nothing like his father but just as imposing in steel colored, perfectly tailored suits. But now he looks like a boy. Not the chosen one, nor the heir to the House of Pitch — or of Grimm, for that matter — just a tired overworked seventeen-year-old boy. "It takes all my self-control not to go off — and then I barely have any left over around you."

"You don't _need_ self control with me."

"Well, one of us has to have some, and it obviously isn't going to be you. Although you've managed not to bite me all these years…"

"Why does either of us have to, Baz? Basilton? Why do we have to try so hard?" Simon bites his lip so hard, Baz worries for a wild second that it will make his fangs pop.

"I can hardly go and let the Families down by cavorting about with the Mage's heir — and a vampire to boot," Baz says, trying to be convincing. Trying not to let on that he's been lost on Snow since they were eleven.

"Dating is hardly cavorting about," Simon says. "I'm not dragging you to sex bars. Or trying to. I just…"

"What?"

"I want to date you," Simon says. "I'm terrible at dating — ask Agatha, she says that I was a great boyfriend for her to be aro-ace with because I just never actually dated her — but you make me want to — pack moonlit picnics and hold hands at the cinema."

"When have you ever gone to the cinema?"

"I've gone with friends from the homes over the summer."

Baz sighs. "I have a responsibility to the Families," he says. "To the world of mages. To defeat the Humdrum, and…go to uni. Marry a nice girl and have lovely Grimm-Pitch babies."

"Fuck responsibility!" Snow pounds his fist on the floor; it's muffled against his blanket. "Don't you want to be _happy,_ Baz?"

"You think you could make me happy? A vampire with a seventy percent in Elocution?"

"Leave my Elocution grade out of this!" Simon sighs, running his hand through his curls. "See, despite this, despite you being a massive arsehole and doing your bloody best to push me away, I want to kiss you again. I want to have lunch with you. Basil, it's simple, it _is._ Can't we just be two blokes, for once? Do you _have_ to be Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch? Can't you just be _Baz?_ Can't we just be Baz and Simon and _try?"_

Baz closes his eyes, because Simon is bright and earnest and that's the most words he's possibly ever said all in a row in his life. "If Miss Possibelf had heard that speech," he says with his eyes closed, "She'd have bumped you up to a seventy-five."

It's as close to a concession as he's going to give today, and he can practically hear Simon's smile break open. When he opens his eyes, Snow is grinning like an idiot. "Please," he says.

"Simon and Baz," Baz says back. Tired of fighting over it. Tired of fighting for something he's not even sure he wants.

"Just Simon and Baz," Simon says.

"You're not a vampire and I'm not the chosen one. We're just two blokes."

"I promise." Simon holds out his hand. "Can we just try?"

Baz looks at Simon's freckled hand, and up at his earnest face — _for a vampire, he has sunshine in his skin and eyes and hair, doesn't he,_ Baz thinks — and he puts his hand in Simon's.

"We can try."


End file.
